


Numbers

by snowzone5



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: El gets drunk and tries to swear, F/M, Kissing, Mileven, Modern AU, Soulmates, Swearing, Will is a complete asshole, Will is a whiner, Will is an obnoxious asshole, Will is mean to El, Will is still wearing bad shorts, Will needs to be kicked in the teeth, Will still has bad hair, light nudity, max Swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowzone5/pseuds/snowzone5
Summary: Max and El get hired at the new Hawkins College bar&grill called "Numbers"She has a very bad first night.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Comments: 43
Kudos: 31





	1. The Interview

“Ok, Let’s talk about your uniform.” Steve said.

“Here it comes El, I told you.” Max smirked at Steve before she looked at El.

Max felt a little sorry for El, she’d grown up way too quick, but she still had that look of innocence that guys were bound to take advantage of.

She was a little jealous of her too. When they were both thirteen, Max was the early bloomer. El looked shy, and innocent, and that short hairdo made her cute as a button. But then Eleven filled out, and boy did she ever. She quickly passed Max in bust size, her hips were wider… by the time they were sixteen, El could have passed for twenty-five easy.

She got the attention of all the boys, but the one thing they didn’t count on was El’s withering look if she was not interested. You couldn’t  _ not _ look away from her eyes. Max didn’t know what it was about those eyes, but El had it. Max did not.

If you were a guy, and ff she caught you looking at her tits, you were done. You’d get the  _ look _ and as far as she was concerned you were now using up her air, so go away..

“Hey, I can’t help that way society thinks of nerds. Nerds think that way themselves. But nerds who like girls… like their, um… assets.”

“Heavy emphasis on the ASS.” Max smirked again.

“The new college executives want this to happen. Mine and Nancy’s business degree got us hired here. But both of us will be running the whole thing the way we want.”

Nancy spoke up, “I know how you feel, but you might as well make money from being pretty. So, you can wear any bottoms you want as long as they are tight. For tops, it’s a neon red t-shirt… also going to be tight, so wear a good bra. Push up if you need it for cleavage.”

She looked briefly at their respective chests. Steve looked away entirely.

“You don’t need to, but I can tell you the tips will be bigger. Your girls will be singing in pain by the end of your shift though. Each t-shirt will have your number on it. Yes, right at the boob level. We want the nerds to look, buy drinks and tip.”

“Why red?” Max asked.

“Red is the last colour of the spectrum the human eye sees, people tend to look longer for it to register.”

“Great so extra long stares at my tits. Good job Nancy. Brilliant in fact.” Max said.

“You won’t complain when you make most of your rent in one night. All because some nerd stared at you and couldn’t help themselves. It’s a rotten business. Make money off the assholes.”

“Aren’t’ we taking advantage of nerds?” El said.

“Believe me,” Nancy said, “You’ll be doing them all kinds of favours.”

“Right,” Steve said, “We don’t want to get into trouble with your dad… speaking of which, um, Max your dad asked me to hire your brother as a bouncer. Keep him out of trouble, keeping an eye on him, that kind of thing. You going to be ok with that?”

“He’s not my favourite person, but we are civil to each other.” Max shrugged.

“We all know each other, Hawkins isn’t that big a town. But I want all my staff, especially you two, to be safe. So anybody touches you in a manner you consider offensive, they get charged with assault. Even if the charge is dropped, getting arrested by your dad will be an experience.” Steve looked at El.

“Bottom line here. We know we are exploiting pretty girls here. That kind of sucks. It’s the nature of the business. Bothers me more than you realize. But you’ve both been in this kind business and have dealt with asshole customers. Not going to be much difference here. Sorry about that.”

“I can handle myself. I worry a bit about my best friend.” Max said looking at El.

“We have two bouncers for now, Billy you already know about, I think you know Dustin Henderson? Big time nerd himself, but I’m not sure I’ve been a stronger guy than him. And he could easily handle your brother if it came down to that. 

“Full disclosure Steve, “Um, Dustin had a crush on me about ten years ago.”

“Suzy, his girlfriend also works here, I’m sure he’s over you by now…” Steve trying very hard not to be sarcastic. 

“You guys are going to be safe. He’s my best friend and a no bullshit guy. I call him my right hand man, he’d be here now, but he and Suzy are shopping for domestic shit.”

Max and El both nodded, El smiling a little bit.

“Ok, so that leaves your numbers. Um, Eleven? That’s yours if you want it?”

El nodded enthusiastically.

“Max? What about you.”

She stuck out her chest, “Clearly I’m a ten.”

Steve smiled, “whew that was close, I thought you might want number 1, and Dustin already promised that to Suzy.”

“Figures.” Max said.

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“El… you know you are basically going to be showing off your body?”

“Maybe I’ll get some attention from boys now.”

“You get tons of attention. You just don’t like where they are looking. I hate to break it to you, but your  _ assets-” _ Max had to smirk again. El wanted the  _ right _ guy to look at her eyes first.

“-are going to be the thing they first see. Get used to it.”

El looked down at herself.

“The right guy will look at my eyes first.”

_ Nailed it. _ Max thought to herself.

“In a bar? You are dreaming number Eleven. They are going to be looking at your name printed across your tits. I think you are going to get better tips than me though. You put up with a lot more bullshit than I do.”

“They don’t get to tough me, Max.”

“Of course they don’t  _ get _ to, but they are going to. Some of those nerds bring their jock friends. Those are the guys you have to watch.”

“I’m not stupid Max. I know what to look out for. Besides. You know I can take care of myself.”

Max swung her head sharply to look at El. “You can’t use your abilities there El. Promise you won’t. Anybody touches you call for Dustin, or even… for fuck’s sakes, even my asshole brother.”

“You worry about me too much.”

“You are the only girl who puts up with me. That makes you my best friend. So yes, I worry about you.”

“And you look out for me, even though… anyway, that’s what makes you my best friend.”

“Our first shift is tonight. We’ve had all the training we need… what are you going to wear?”

“A tight short black skirt.”

“Fuck. I hope your dad doesn’t show up, or has to be called.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“I’m not going to assign you tables. Look out there and see what section you want.” Steve said

“Well?” Max asked El as they looked out at the tables filling.

“I already know… the one with the cute guy and his friends at it.”

“The guy with that mess of black hair?”

“That’s the one.”

“You think he’s going to tip you a lot. What if he’s the guy who looks at your eyes? You can push up all the boob you want, and he’s not going to notice.”

“If he does that, tip won’t matter.”

Max shrugged. “Ok, let’s do this thing.


	2. The Party Table or Will the Asshole

“Uh… Mike?”

“I already don’t like the sound of your voice Lucas. What did you do?”

“I think I may have accidentally told Will we were hitting the new college pub tonight.”

Mike was silent.

_ This is bad _ , Lucas thought. _ If he had just said For fuck’s sake, and screamed at me it would have been over in a minute. _

_ Silence. Is. Not. Good. _

Finally Mike sighed. “Ok, it’s done. This place has bouncers. I can’t punch him like I did last time. You know Dustin is one of them right? I really don’t want to be escorted off the property by Dustin. You two are my best friends.”

“But not Will anymore?”

“Fuck no. He lost that… designation almost ten years ago. I don’t think I’ve seen him in three months. Even then it was a confrontation. I don’t want to do that again. I’ll keep my cool.”

Mike hung up his cell.

  
  


XXXXX

“Fuck.”  _ This is going to be a shit show. But only with two stars. Me and Will. Can’t blame Lucas, he’s still friends with him. One thing is for sure. I have to stop at an ATM. I feel sorry for the waitress already. I’ll make it worth her while. Even if this is her last night waiting tables. _

“Maybe he’ll be ok tonight.” Mike said out loud.

_ It could happen! And monkey’s could fly out of my butt. That could happen too. It would happen first, but it could happen. No. Will is gonna be an asshole. Sacrificing small cute and furry animals with big sad eyes isn’t going to change that. _

_ “Fuck.” _

XXXXX

“Wish me luck. I’m going to hit table 11. Oooh What a co-inky-dink.” El winked at Max and took off to find out who the impossibly gorgeous guy was.

“...here she comes… and look at those tits.” The guy with the bowl #2 haircut said.

_ Noted asshole. You’ll be my favourite tonight. _

Just before she got to their table, she locked eyes with the foxy guy for a few seconds. Her eyes widened.  _ His eyes are beautiful. I wish I had them looking into mine… just before he kissed me. _

_ Uh oh. I know  _ that _ feeling. My nipples are getting hard. _

She knew what to do. Would lean forward her hands on the table, he arms would cover her up a little. The downside was that it was going to push her boobs closer together and create significantly  _ more _ cleavage than she was had intended..

“What’ll it be boys?”

To his credit, Mr. Gorgeous was still looking at her eyes. Mr. Bowlcut said, “I’ll have whatever I can suck out of those melons,” then laughed hysterically.

Mr. Gorgeous finally dropped his eyes, not to her chest though, he looked down at the table. El could tell he was angry with his friend.

“Ignore him. He’s going to be an asshole all night.”

El looked directly at Mr. Bowlcut, “I’ll need to see some ID sir, before I can serve you.”

“Yeah, right. I’ll write how old I am on one of your titties. How about that?”

“I’m sure one of our bouncers would like to know if you touched me… but and your ID will get you something stronger than a Pepsi. Until then… what will the rest of you have?”

She took their order. Mr Bowlcut said, “I’ll have Sex on the Beach. Tell your bartender it’s a COCKtail.” He laughed again.

He didn’t reach for his ID so, El left to get the rest of the guys their drinks.

  
  


XXXXX

“Asshole alert, table 11.” El said to Max.

“You want me to take that table?” Max said.

“No, Mr. Gorgeous-foxy-please-kiss-me looked right into my eyes. He also didn’t look when my headlights went on.”

“Sure he did.” 

But El was shaking her head. “No he didn’t Max, I think the surprise showed on my face. Mr. Bowlcut however looked at my girls the entire time. Come back to the table with me. You can re-explain to Mr. Bowlcut that he has to show me ID.”

“Mr. Bowlcut? You think he’s too young?”

“No, I think he’s an asshole. I’m legally allowed to ask him. One other thing, he’s wearing silk ball high shorts. Probably still fits him from the eighties. If his wallet is in his pocket…. Moose knuckle alert too.”

Max laughed. “This will be fun. We can’t insult the customers El. Keep your cool.”

They walked to her table.

Max watched with a keen eye as the guy El referred to as Mr. Gorgeous looked her in the eyes again. He they stayed there. 

_ Those two have a connection. A six year old could see that. _

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


No sooner had Will made his misogynist comment when Mike locked eyes on the waitress.

_ Oh my god. She’s pretty. Those eyes are stunning. Did she smile at me? She’s not looking at anybody else. No doubt about it, she’s way out of my league. I’m guessing her boyfriend could pound me into a grease stain. No way she doesn’t have a boyfriend/… shit… or girlfriend for that matter. I hope she’s not offended. I think I’m staring at her now. _

Will make his melon insult and Mike had to look down. Poor girl. I’m going to tip her everything I have. If that puts a smile on her face I'll be happy... well happier.

Will made the cocktail comment. She asked for his ID. Will was an asshole again.

“This shouldn’t be a new question Will, but can you be any  _ more  _ of an asshole tonight? Or are you working at it?”

“Can we play D and D now?” Will giggled.

_ What the fuck is wrong with him? Is he high? Brain injury? I’d forgive him for a brain injury, he wouldn’t be able to help it. I don’t think that’s the case.  _

“Gotta piss.” Will got up and left for the washroom.

“What is  _ wrong _ with him?” Mike stared at Lucas.

“I think he way overdid it smoking a blunt.” Lucas said.

“I feel really sorry for… what’s her pub nick… Eleven?”

“She seemed to handle it ok.”

“That’s no excuse Lucas, you know Nancy did the very same thing for a few years.”

“You’re really going to tip her good aren’t you?”

“You bet your ass I am. You know Will isn’t nearly finished with this shit.”

Mike saw Will coming back out of the washroom, and stop and talk to the redheaded waitress. He came back with only half smiling.

“I just asked the female carrot top where are our waitress with the nice bazoongas was. And where my drink was.”

Mike said nonchalantly, “Have you shown her ID?”

“Fuck no. Maybe if she shows me her pussy I will. I’m old enough.”

Mike endured two more hours of it. He had no idea how the watiress, Eleven was handling it.

“Not the point asshole, they ask, you show, or no drinky-poo. Fucking moron. When did you get as dumb as shit? It’s not the weed is it? Doesn’t make anybody else that fuckin’ stupid. You know what? Fuck you. I am completely done with you. Get your shit together, give it another five years, then call me. Until then. Fuck. Off. Sorry Lucas, he’s your exclusive friend now. Enjoy.”

Mike was so pissed off he was sure he now knew what the word  _ livid _ meant.

On his way out of the pub, he bumped into Dustin.

“Will again… right?”

“Yeah, um, could you let me talk to Eleven? I want to apologize, pay my tab and tip her.

“I can do that,” Dustin gave him a big toothy smile. 

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


Dustin led Mike to a small break room, Eleven was crying on the redhead’s shoulder.

Dustin cleared his throat.

Eleven looked up at and Mike, her eyes gave him a little smile.

“There is no excuse for anything he said. There’s no way I can make up for that.”

Mike handed her an envelope. “This should pay off my tab and food, the rest is woefully inadequate compensation. I’m sorry, I wish I could make it up to you.”

Mike hung his head and left.

  
  


XXXXX

_ Were those tears? He must really feel bad for me. Maybe he was the only gentleman at the table. _

El opened the the envelop, saw a little folded note:

_ I am so, so sorry. _

_ Mike. _

She smiled. Her eyes hit saucer proportions when she counted the money inside. She immediately went to Steve’s office.

  
  


XXXXX

“I told you you’d get good tips.”

“Steve, this is almost a thousand dollars!”

“That sounds like what Mike would do. He hated my bad table waiting stories.” Nancy said. “He’s always doing something like that.”

El frowned, “The note did say Mike.”

El ran outside, hoping to still catch him.

Mike. 

Mr. Gorgeous

XXXXX

  
  


Mike heard from behind him, “You want to make it up to me?”

Mike turned. It was Eleven. He looked into her eyes. “Yes.”

“Buy me a drink. Maybe lots.”

“But not here, right?”

El looked back to the campus pub. “No, not here.”

“Ok Eleven. I owe you more than a drink though,” he said to her not taking his eyes from hers.

“I’ll think of something.”


	3. urapizzashid

_ Here comes the waitress. She can’t even look at him! That’s how good looking he is. I recognize that look. Seems like  _ all _ the girls look at him like that. Especially the waitress. She keeps looking over this way but she hasn’t caught his eye yet. _

The waitress came up to them, “What can I get you two?”

She was civil and polite to El, but Eleven knew that the waitress just wanted El to go away.

“Whatever the lady wants.”

El gave a polite smile back and said, “Gin and Tonic please.”

“And you, sir.”

_ She can’t even look at his intense eyes. _

“Just an ice tea for me.” He looked at El. “I’m your designated driver.”

“Oh? Your non-alcoholic drinks are free sir.” She looked at El and smiled, “I’ll be right back.”

“She likes you.”

“What? How can you tell?”

“A girl can tell.”

_ Oh my god. I thought he was gorgeous from a distance. I’m sitting less than two feet from him and his eyes are… are… overwhelming. I hope I hold even a little bit of interest for him… I don’t want him just because he likes the way I look… I mean… that’s not terrible, but I have a brain dammit. I need to let him know I’m not just some bimbo with big boobs… _

“So… Mike? Are you a student at the college? What are you taking? You aren’t waiting tables like I am… must be nice.”

“Ok, I can answer those questions. But first… I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t know your name, just your ‘work name’. 

“My name is Eleven.”

_ Uh oh. He stopped smiling and he’s not looking into my eyes anymore.  _

Mike sat back, held up his hands and said, “Hey, I get it, young woman out in a bar with someone she doesn’t know, it’s probably a good idea these days not to give any personal details.”

He was looking down, obviously thinking about an exit strategy before the drinks showed up.

_ Too late. Here she is. I’ll wait till she leaves. _

“Look into my eyes Mike.” She faltered a little when their eyes made contact again.

“Eleven  _ is _ my name.” 

His eyes scanned hers back and forth.

In seconds, he smiled, “That’s a pretty name, a little unusual, but a pretty name just the same. Goes with the eyes.”

His smile almost stopped her heart.

“I’m a teacher at the college.” He said.

“Oh? Me too.”

“What do you teach?” Mike asked.

“You first.”

“Ah, well, I teach two courses, one is Musical Theory, it’s two parts separated over two semesters. First part, my students learned to read music, and apply that to an instrument. Second part is analyzing music. Very dry if you are not really into it.”

“And the second course?”

“Natural Musical Talent. It’s a much harder course to get into. Some people in the first course  _ can’t _ get into the second course. I interview and evaluate all students who want to take it.”

“Let me guess, no natural talent, no course.”

Mike smiled, “Exactly. In the course I help them hone their technique on the instrument they play.”

“What instrument do you play?” Eleven asked him.

_ He’s blushing! Why is that? Wait. Is he one of those people who can’t do, so they teach? He’s embarrassed to tell me he can’t play any instrument. _

“I’m hesitating because I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all about music.”

“Hey, we’re just two teacher’s talking. I’m interested…”

“All of them.”

“All of what?”

“I haven’t found an instrument I can’t play. Once you know theory, and can hear where the notes are on an instrument, it’s just technique. Stringed, woodwind, brass, keyboard, or percussion. I can play them all. It helps that I have perfect pitch.”

"Perfect pitch?"

“I can tell what note a sound is vibrating at. I also have something like an eidetic memory for music.”

“You have a photographic memory for music? 

"Well just like images, there are differences between the two… um, concepts. But yeah, if I hear a song once, I can reproduce the notes of it on the respective instruments. There is a lot of sound processing done in a studio, effects, etc. But for acoustic music, I’m ninety-nine point nine nine percent accurate.”

“So you could play in a band or an orchestra?”

Mike shrugged, “My interest is teaching other people to appreciate the beauty of music, or to help those who already do refine their abilities.”

El looked at him dreamily.

_ Smart  _ and _ cute. That’s a panty remover combo if I've ever seen one. I think I’m a little tipsy. _

Mike said, “Ok you teach at the college but you wait tables?”

“The college pays well, but I want to fast track a down payment on a house.”

“Ah… ok what is it you teach?”

This time it was El’s turn to blush.

“Out with it,” he smiled into her eyes.

El gave a sigh, “Ok, a little background first. Long story, here’s the abbreviated version with the secrets and most of the bad stuff taken out. I didn’t have a very good education when I was a kid. Let’s just call it a bad foster home. My dad rescued me from a bad situation, and he protected, fed, and taught me.”

Mike was silent, sitting there looking at her.

“One day I asked my dad what ‘friend’ was and he started crying.”

_ He looks sad. He doesn’t know the half of it. Maybe he never will. _

“So he bought me a dictionary and taught me words. I became so fascinated with words that I wanted to learn more. Not just words you and I use, but words that other languages use. Idioms, that kind of thing.”

“Idioms?”

“You know what kick the bucket means, right?”

“Yeah, means you bit the farm… uh died. I see what you mean, it’s where the term bucket list came from.”

“Yes, but in French, it’s cassez la pipe or casser sa pipe. Basically ‘break the pipe. In German it’s ‘stuck his spoon in the wall’, In Afrikaans the spoon is stuck in the ceiling, in Portuquese it’s wearing wooden pajamas. All euphemisms for dying.”

“Wow, that’s fascinating.”

“I think so too,” El grinned. So the idioms led to learning another language. Then another. And so on.”

“Ok, you know this question is coming…”

“How many languages do I speak?”

“Yeah that one.”

El turned even redder than she was before. “All of them.”

Mike blinked at her.

Then blinked some more.

“El, there are at least six thousand languages.”

“More like sixty-five hundred. But Mike once you know the language groups, the differences are like computer languages, different syntax, but the basic principle is the same in all of them.”

“Do you think I’m pretty? What’s that in oh… Danish?”

“ Synes du, jeg er smuk?”

“Norwegian.”

“Synes du jeg er pen?”

“Welsh.”

“Ydych chi'n meddwl fy mod i'n bert?”

“Ok, the first two sounded closer together. And oh, by the way, the answer is ‘yes, I do.”

El’s eyes widened, and she turned red yet again and gave him a small smile.

“Thank you Mike. That was very smooth and clever on your part.”

_ Uh oh, panties are in danger!!” _

“The first two are from the same language group, but not the third. If you want to know any more of them, take my course.” She gave him a devilsh smile.

“What’s your degree in?”

“I have a Phd in LInguistics. I teach an introductory course in historical linguistics. It’s analogous to your musical theory course.”

“Suddenly I feel not so smart.” 

“Ok, this won’t help then,” El said eager to show just how smart she was.

“I also have a degree in Anthropology, but that only led me to Linguistics Anthropology which fit right in with my fascination of idioms, and language in general. I teach a course in regular Anthropology also… back in Middle school it was mostly called ‘social studies.’ ”

_ Ok, brain show time is over. _

El had been stretching and thrusting out her chest at Mike but his eyes never wavered from hers.

_ Don’t do that El. Don’t tease him with your body if you have no plans for following through. It would be your first time, and Mike has probably had dozens of girls. Anybody who looks like that… _

El sighed.

“Something wrong Eleven?”

“I’ve been practically pushing my boobs into your face all night long and you aren’t biting. Pun completely intended.”

“You have very pretty eyes, you are smart as hell, and to use a high school idiom,” Mike winked, “You have a body that won’t quit. It’s not lost on me Eleven.”

“But?...”

“But I don’t want to take my eyes away from yours, and I will  _ never _ have a one night stand with a girl. Especially not one who’s um… a little inebriated.”

_ He’s not saying  _ no _. Not directly anyway. _

“Ok… well… take me home… please. I have a class first thing and I work tomorrow night.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


Max listened to El practically shouting in the next room.

“You don wanna play with my tiddies? Sug on my nibbles? I’ll take my pannies off for you an you can ead my pushy? All sug yer cog.

”Sorry, Eleven. You are a little bit drunk.”

“Ima loddadrun. And urapizzashid. Go way poopyhead.”

Silence.

Max went back to her book and Mike came out into the living room.

“You aren’t sleeping over?

Mike gave a tight smile. “No. Didn’t you hear? I’m a pizzashid.”

“And a poopyhead.”

“Yeah, that stung the most.” And then more seriously, “I was going to ask her out, but… um... personal history, I’m not interested in a girl that drinks that much.” He glanced back to Eleven’s room.

“They say stupid shit.” Max said.

“Yeah,” Mike sighed. “... it’s not only that.”

“Mike… Um, El doesn’t drink.”

“Could have fooled me, she was drinking gin and tonics like they’d stop making them tomorrow and she wanted to get her fill. I guess that explains why she’s so loaded. I rolled her on her side, but she’s gonna be sick. You can check in on her?”

“I will… but Mike. I mean it. She doesn’t drink. Your friend Will really upset her.”

“He’s not my friend. Not sure I can make it up to her. Tips and drinks don’t seem… I don’t know… enough? I get the feeling she has a sad story but came out of that with an incredible mind. I actually felt stupid when we were talking. I haven’t felt like that in a long time.”

“She is the smartest girl you will ever date.”

“Without a doubt, I am totally fascinated by what she knows. She will need a few days to get over… the embarrassment I think.”

“Tomorrow morning with my best friend is going to be a very interesting conversation.”

Max watched the wistful look he took back at El’s room. 

_ He likes her! _

“Well, time for this poopyhead to get some sleep.”

“Don’t forget urapizzashid.”

He hung his head. “Yeah, I’ll live with that.”


	4. The Piper

El felt like shit.

_ Time to pay the piper. _

She opened her eyes and saw that the other side of the bed was empty. She had mixed feelings about that. 

The bad:

He did not stay with her through the night.

The good:

He did not stay with her through the night.

_ I don’t even know what that means. _

She got up and padded to the kitchen.

“There she is…” Max started singing.

“Miss urapizzadhid…..”

“Don’t remind me Max, I made a fool of myself and didn’t even get laid in the process.”

“Here.” Max said and handed her glass with a clear liquid.

El assumed it was water and Alkaseltzer. Like so many other things, she was wrong. But it tasted good and strong.

“What  _ is _ that!”

“Gin and tonic.”

At first El thought she would be sick. Strangely enough she felt almost immediately better.

“And greasy bacon and eggs coming up.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


“I think I thoroughly turned him off .”

“Mike? Yeah, he likes you too. He wants to ask you out.”

“But he won’t, will he?”

“I’ll tell you the truth,” Max said, “I don’t know. Would you have slept with him?”

El snorted. “I think that’s all I would have done with him. I passed out instead.”

“That’s what he said.”

El’s mouth downturned. “Max, I lost my chance with a guy who was smart, seemed to like me, and… was super good looking. But he was smart.You already know that’s the most important thing to me.”

Max looked down. She couldn’t look her best friend in the eyes.

XXXXX

  
  


Mike’s cell phone rang. 

“Mike Wheeler speaking.” He answered.

“She’s a nice girl Mike. Don’t give up on her..” 

That sounded like Max, but the caller immediately hung up on him.

_ She’s talking about Eleven. I’m not sure it would work out. There’s at least two things she needs to know, and both of them can be a relationship killer… well one for sure can be..  _

_ Shit. _

He thought about last night.

Before he knew it, she was standing there in a bra that barely contained her, and high hipped panties.

And almost shouting what sounded like gibberish.

Suddenly her head slumped forward… It wasn’t until she started to topple forward that Mike realized she had passed out while standing up.

_ No surprise there, she’s drunk as a skunk. _

He caught her, and maneuvered her into her bed. She caught a glimpse of her backside.

_ Oh man! She is hot. Don’t touch. That kind of shit is  _ not _ cool. _

  
  
  


XXXXX

A week later and El was moping around the trailer. Max was unable to console her.

“He hasn’t shown up at the pub in over a week.”

“Unlike some of our other customers, El, he doesn’t live there.”

“Yeah, but I thought he’d want to at least come by and see me… even for an apology.”

“You want Mike to apologize to you?” Max said, her eyebrows rose.

“What? No! Of course not. I need to apologize to him… for my behaviour.”

“Well, you need to seek him out, not the other way around…”

“Yes.” El said, and sighed. “That’s the way it's supposed to work.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


Mike was in the college library. Not quite sure where to begin.

“Can I help you sir… Oh Dr. Wheeler!” One of the librarians said.

“Mike… please… I’m looking for where to find books on linguistics?”

“Ah, 400 is the language section, and Linguistics has it’s own sub-section at 410. That should get you started.”

“Thank you very much.”

Mike made his way over to the proper section. The titles meant nothing to him. 

“Hmm, this sounds interesting, maybe I can ask her what it means.” He picked up a book called ‘Linguistics and Numismatics’.

_ What the hell is  _ numismatics _? Shit. I know so little on this subject I can’t even ask a reasonable question about it. Talk about feeling stupid. _

He picked it up and thumbed through it….  _ Oh, coins. Ok. What the hell does that have to do with language? Ok, maybe that’s a good opener to talk to her again. _

Before taking it up to the check out desk, he took a quick look to see who the author was. Jane Hopper. 

But the photo.  _ That’s Eleven! Is that a pseudonym? _

He took the book to the front. 

“I’d like to check out this book.”

“Certainly Dr. Wheeler. Oh, you know who this is?”

“Well, not as Jane Hopper, but I think she teaches at the college.”

“Yes sir, she does, but as Jane Ives. Don’t worry sir, none of us know the real story, we just know her names.”

“Ok, I don’t feel bad asking dumb questions then.”

The library winked at him, “You teach, so you  _ know _ there are no such things as dumb questions.”

“Yes... you are so right. Thank you very much for your help.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


He found her class and quietly slipped into the back of the lecture theatre.

“... so any questions?” She asked.

She was wearing a smart grey suit that did nothing to hide her curves. She wore round, no framed glasses. Even from this far back Mike could see she was beautiful. His heart hurt a little.

“Yes… Miss…. Ives?” He called out from the back, “Will you be using anything from your book in the class?”

“Which book, sir?”

That floored Mike. _ She wrote more than one book? _

“The nu… mismatics one?”

“No, that particular course is under review, definitely not this semester. Um… Professor Wheeler… is that you up there?”

“Guilty.” Mike said.

Most everyone in class turned to look up at him in the nosebleed seats.

“Class dismissed, I have a quickie… I mean a quick teachers conference.”

The whole class giggled.

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


_ Oh… that’s him! I need to end this class now! _

She made her way up towards the back of the lecture theatre. 

She sat down in the seat beside him and turned sideways.

She took a deep breath, “I am so sorry for my behaviour that night.”

She looked down.

“Whew! I thought I might be a poopyhead forever.”

_ He’s trying to lighten up the mood. Make me feel better. I think I’m in love with this guy. _

“If I may be completely disgusting for a minute. I’ll take a raincheck on all those offers.”

He looked her in the eyes when he said that, but it was a gentle smile. El didn’t quite know if he was serious or not. But she turned a deep shade of red.

_ I’m going for it. _ “Done,” she said.

She could see the colour of his face match hers.

“You know what?” He said. “I like the fact that I can make jokes with you… even crude jokes, and you take them the way they are intended… instead of slapping a lawsuit on me. What I just said there was completely unprofessional… but… it took me a week to get the courage to come here… and even then I thought I needed some kind of… foot in the door.”

“Hence, the book.” El said.

“Hence the book. Can you sign this copy for me?”

“That’s a library book. Are you going to steal it? I’d have to report you and turn you in.”

“Oh… right.”

“I’ll get you a signed copy if you really want one.”

“I do… but I’ll be honest, I don’t even know what it’s about. Language and coins?”

“In, Anthropology, several things define a culture. Religion, Art,” she nodded towards Mike, “that includes music, etc. Also their currency and their language define a culture too.. There’s a very strong relationship between language and currency. That book combines two of my favourite things, it was my thesis.”

Mike still looked a little embarrassed.

“Mike,” El said gently, “What’s wrong?”

“You have some brain Kung Fu going on that’s very intimidating. It really is. I’ve always wanted a smart girlfriend or wife. I thought I was setting my sights too high.”

_ He wants me as a girlfriend! A wife? Did I just hear that right? _

“I know this is going to make me feel stupider than I already do. Is stoopid spelt with two o’s? ‘cause that’s the way I feel.”

_ Did he just make a linguistics joke? _

“You asked ‘which book’. How many have you written?”

“The one you are holding is a textbook, no course yet, but that’s what I wrote it for. The others are about the levels of linguistics.”

His face was blank.

“Phonetics slash Phonolgoy, Morphology, Syntax, Semantics, Pragmatics.”

“You wrote a book on each one?”

El could see that Mike was fascinated.  _ His eyes should be glazed over by now. He either really wants to get in my pants, or he’s actually interested.  _

“I did. I really like languages.”

And then he did something El was not even remotely prepared for. He stuck is finger in his nose and  _ dinged  _ the first nine or ten notes of “Dueling Banjos”

El threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, Mike, that’s awful.”

“I’m trying to warm up the audience, I have something serious to say to you and at least one of them is a relationship ender.”

_ He wants a relationship? This is good. This is very good. I don’t think he can make me go away, but his face is deadly serious. His smile is completely gone. _

He looked into her eyes. El was terrified, wet, and hanging on his every movie.

A defeated sigh came from him, “Here goes nothing,” he said, “I don’t want kids. Period.”

El held his gaze, “Can I ask why?”

“I told this to a girl before we even started a relationship, it was over after I said it. Two reasons. First one. My dad was an alcoholic. A little funny when he had a few beers, but then belligerent, cruel, annoying as fuck, and finally an asshole. One day he got supremely loaded, drove out drunk somewhere out near the woods and killed himself. Chief Jim Hopper found him while on patrol one night.”

_ Oh Mike… I’m sorry. That’s why he wasn’t all that impressed with how much gin I put away. Or why he doesn’t drink. I feel like shit. He’s being totally honest with me… but I feel like shit. _

“Mike… I understand now… I hate to even ask what the second reason is.”

“I don’t think I’d make a good father… because of that.... didn’t really have a role model. But the main reason… I don’t want anything to take my time away from the girl I love. No kids, no pets, and only hobbies we can do together. I want to dedicate myself to that woman.”

At this, Mike looked down. El thought she saw a tear…

“It was the no kids part that ended your relationship with her wasn’t it?”

Mike nodded, still looking down.

“You should know that I can never bear you children. You can’t change your mind.”

“Oh, El… I’m sorry.”

_ He’s looking me in the eyes and not smiling. He feels bad for me. He could have made some kind of barebacking joke, but he didn’t. I think he understands… I truly think he does. _

“Medical issues when I was a child. I’ve made my peace with it.”

They were both silent for a few minutes.

Mike cleared his throat and said, “You are a linguist so you’d know better than I do. I want to go out with you, dating, whatever it’s called between couples our age.”

_ He said couples! I need to let him off the hook. _

“You’ll be happy to know it’s still called dating, dates., no pun in tended, to mid eighteen-nineties, when someone was ‘filling in all your dates on a calendar’ but it’s gone through stages, was illegal in the early nineteen-hundreds… term really took off in the fifties’s. If you want to date me Mike, if you want me to be your girlfriend. It’s a simple yes. I’d love to.”

“Ok, so we need a frank and serious conversation about sex. We already covered the procreation part. We need to tell each other how many partners we’ve had. Believe me, I don’t want to know. I think it’s safer for the both of us. I’ll go first.”

“None,” Mike said.

“Don’t tell me girls didn’t want to go to bed with you?”

“They did. But after the speech,” Mike mock laughed, “nada. You probably already know I dated the Palm Sisters.”

El rolled her eyes, “Every guy does Mike, that’s not news. You won’t have to anymore.”

“Ok Eleven. Your turn.”

“I had a torrid affair with Mr. Banana, and his bunch of friends. We used protection, so you know, it’s all good.”

Mike was trying not to laugh. He had to look away.

“I’m not sure what I need to take away from that?”

“Physically, not a virgin, Mike.”

Mike sighed, “Why are you so easy to talk to? This is the kind of stuff couples should talk about before they even get started. I’m starting to feel like you are my…”

“Soulmate?”

“Yeah, Eleven. Soulmate.”

“But you need to tell me about the name thing.”


	5. Frank

“I’ll tell you MIke… but you need to promise me something.”

“I promise.”

_ Uh oh. That sounded flippant…  _

Eleven huffed and looked away. She was frustrated. 

That’s when she noticed that Mike was growing a beard.

_...and how did I not notice he was growing a beard?… it’s coming in nicely… is it possible for him to be even more gorgeous than he is already? I hope it’s not too scratchy…  _ El smiled inwardly… wherever it touches…  _ back to the problem at hand _

“Eleven… look at me.” She did. She thought he would start crying right there.

“When I say ‘I promise’ it’s not a  _ ‘blah, blah, yeah, yeah, let’s go to bed now’  _ promise. I’m… shit… even though I’m saying it, it doesn’t sound sincere. But I am. I don’t know how convey that.”

She smiled, “Yes you do Mike. You look into my eyes. I’m very sensitive to the sound of words. That’s the part of being a Linguist… and… I’m… pretty sure you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“I will  _ never _ lie to you Eleven…. Never.”

“I love it when you say my name Mike. But you can call me ‘El’ if you want.”

“No.”

“No?”

XXXXX

  
  


“You are Eleven to me. And… if…” Mike struggled to keep composure as he talked…. “If you had come up to me that night, even the table you were working… and said… I am the perfect girl for you… not only would I have believed you… I think I would have asked you to marry me on the spot.”

Eleven blinked. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack, Eleven.”

She smiled. “Ok. What I need you to promise, is that you will never repeat what I’m about to say to you. Not to your friends, your mother, nobody.”

Mike leaned forward. His eyes were inches away from hers. “I promise.”

Eleven smiled again. “Ok…” she sighed.

“My mother was drugged just before, or just after she got pregnant with me. A psychotic son of a bitch… guy named Martin Brenner, stole me, rigged it so that my birth certificate ‘Jane Ives’ read that I was stillborn. Of course my mother heard me crying just after birth and didn’t believe that asshole. She paid for it with her mind.”

Mike looked down.

“In honour of her that’s the name I teach under.”

Mike was silent again, but nodded.

“This is going to be hard for you to hear…”

“It already is Eleven… and I know I’m not going to like the rest of it.”

“Brenner kept me in Hawkins Lab, for about eleven or twelve years. I was tattooed as experiment number Eleven.” She showed him the tattoo

_ Ah… fuck.  _ Mike’s tears could not stop flowing… but he would not stop looking into her eyes.

Eleven put her hands over his.

“I was not sexually abused, but a little physical. Very much mentally and emotionally.

Mike couldn’t help himself. He burst into tears.

“Sweetie it’s… it’s ok. You are with me now… and right now that’s all that matters to me.”

“One day during that week of storms Hawkins had, I escaped.”

Mike’s voice hitched and he was done… “you’re… dad found you… rescued you… saved you.”

Eleven started to cry… “Yes he did. He saved me in more ways than I can count.”

Mike leaned over and hugged her. 

Tight. 

He didn’t let go for a long time.

XXXXX

“Whew… that was very cathartic… only my dad knows… and you. I haven’t even told Max.”

El listened to a very calm Mike. “They say the best revenge is doing well.”

“Then this should make you feel better. A woman named Nancy Byers, and her husband, broke the whole story wide open.”

“Nancy?”

“Yes… you know her?”

“Nancy is my older sister, and at the time was married to Jonathan Byers. He’s Will-the-complete-fucking-asshole’s brother. The publicity broke up their marriage and she went back to Steve Harrinton…” Mike hmphed. “They are your bosses at  _ Numbers.” _

“Will is in jail.”

“What?”

“He grabbed a butter knife, and held it to Max’s throat earlier this week. He tried to cut her open but it was a butter knife, he only bruised her. Dusin and her brother Billy are both bouncers there, Billy said he must have been on something because he was hard to take down. Loser…. Anyway, I didn’t keep track of what they were doing… was a long time ago. My dad did the long arm of the police thing, there were lawsuits. Paid for my university education and… um extras.”

“Long arm of the law?”

“Didn’t you read the dedication in the book?”

Mike opened the book up and read:

_ To Jim Hopper the most loving, kind, and real father, _

_ a daughter could ever have. _

_ I love you dad, _

_ Eleven _

“Chief Hopper?” El nodded, “That’s why the names. I’m so...  _ so _ … sorry Eleven.”

“It was so easy to tell you this Mike… “

Mike's eyes dropped.

El continued, “It feels like the last piece of my emotional puzzle is finally in place. Because of you. It doesn’t end there… the rest is all good stuff.”

Mike looked at her eyes again. He couldn’t quite feel the enthusiasm that came from her eyes.

“I am in very high demand, at the U.N. for a multi-language interpreter, at MIT for their Linquistics program, one of the best in the world. I have received an invitation to teach at almost every school and university in the world.”

“Why are you still here?” Mike was scared to death of the answer.

“I will tell you the truth Mike. I didn’t know it till now… it’s because of you. Yes I wanted to work at a lower salary but only because I felt a need to take care of my dad.”

Mike put his hands over his eyes. They didn’t stop the tears from streaming down his face.

“There was something else… I felt… like I would find… the person I needed to be with… and…”

Eleven wasn’t just crying… she was officially bawling. She managed to say through her hitched breathing… 

“I was right… oh god… I... was… right.”

  
  


XXXXX

El had bared her soul. There was no other way to put it. Mike's response was to lean forward again and hug her.

It was awkward so they both stood up. He hugged her even more tightly.

“I… commit my soul to you Eleven. Reject it if you want… but I am yours. You already know the phrase, mind, body and soul. I would add heart to that list.”

She hugged him even tighter than she had ever hugged her dad.

“I… I… don’t have a ring.”

“You don’t need one Mike… the answer is yes… yes to everything… a million yes’s… an infinite number of yes’s to anything you ask of me. I commit my mind, body and soul to you. Add heart to that list.” 

Mike said, “Uh, um… one more thing… this probably not a relationship ender but it’s something you should know… it’s um… a little embarrassing to tell you this.”

“You can tell me anything Mike… now that I know about the Palm Sisters and you know about Mr. Banana.”

Mike flushed. “Yeah, ‘bout the sisters.”

“When I was in middle school I hated being in front of the class. I know teachers do it to give you exposure and all that bullshit, but to me it felt like they were trying to turn an introverted, shy kid into a Type A. I got very bitter about that kind of thing. It probably led to my anxiety about being in crowds, or performing.”

“So that’s why you aren’t in a band?” El said.

“That’s the exact reason.”

“Doesn’t that make it a little bit hard to be a teacher?”

“It makes it almost impossible when you have that kind of anxiety, it’s reduced someone because I know things they don’t know. But it’s still pretty bad. So… I take medication.”

“Does it help Mike?”

“Anxiety is gone… but it has a side effect… not sure it was mentioned in the brochure.”

“Mike, it can’t be that bad.”

“I take a long time to finish.”

“Finish what?”

“My date with the sisters.”

El just looked at him… she tried to suppress a giggle… “Are you telling me you can go all night? I guess there is nothing premature is there.”

Mike could have said. “I’m serious Eleven.” or “That’s not really funny, Eleven.” or “Thanks for your sympathetic support of my condition.” But he didn’t.

Instead he frowned and looked down, but his face spoke volumes. El realized her playful response was not taken that way at all.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was that much of an issue.” She gave him a hug and tried to comfort him, “we work out any issues, I mean  _ any _ issues Mike, we work them out, or work around them. You aren’t in this alone. If I have to I’ll talk dirty to you all night until you can’t stand it.”

_ Ok, he’s smiling. I’m going to drive him crazy. We’ll see if it’s still an issue once we get into bed. _

“We can cancel tomorrow, if you think it’s going to be an issue.” Mike said.

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


They sat and looked at each other.

“Tomorrow?” El said she could not keep the shyness from her voice. He was serious about that.

“Yes… tomorrow… tonight I want to take you out to a fancy restaurant…. I… um already made reservations… I wanted to wine and dine you… but no wine.”

“Oh…” El looked around, “there’s one more thing.”

“I thought I was getting used to your various looks, but you looked distinctly paranoid there for a second.” Mike said.

El took the book and centered it in the table in front of them.

“Oh, You’re going to sign my book Miss Ives?”

El was a little relieved that the talk about his condition was over… at least for now.

He smiled at her, El made a look-over-there with her head. Mike looked over and saw the book floating about six inches off the table.

“Can you fly?” Mike asked.

El frowned. “Of course I can’t fly.”

Mike held up his hands and chuckled, , “Hey it was a legit question after seeing that… shit… the lab right?”

El nodded. “You promised.”

Mike glanced at the book, still hovering. “Your secrets are now my secrets. Oh, by the way, I can’t fly either…” he watched the book settle back down on the table, “...or do that.”

“I’m special.” El said as if it were nothing.

“You are… and full of surprises.”

“It will keep you on your toes. Oh, and if you tell anybody, my dad will probably bury your body where it can’t be found.”

“Noted… so… what time do you teach your last class?” Mike asked.

“I’m done at seven this evening. But I want to change into my three S dress.”

“Three S?”

“It’s a surprise.” She winked.

“Ok, I have to run some errands. I’ll change myself and pick you back up in your office, I’ll try show up early, but don’t worry if I’m a little late.”

“Max is picking me up, take your time. I need to change, I’m a girl. Who  _ knows _ how long that will take me…,” she winked again, “ Pick me up at home… ok?”

“Done.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“Mr. Wheeler.” Jim Hopper said, his feet up on his desk.

“To what do I owe this honour… as if I can’t guess. She calls me every night to talk about you.”

Mike… “Eleven is an independent, smart as a whip woman. I’m not sure she’d approve of me asking for your blessing… but I’d like to get it anyway.”

“You are looking guiltier than that… you don’t have a ring do you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Cops know shit like that.” He reached into his pocket and opened up his wallet, he unsnapped the change part of it and fished for something inside.

“This was my grandmother’s… I was saving it for Sara...” Hopper cleared his throat, “but it belongs to El now.” He handed the ring to Mike.

“I… don’t know what to say… thank you.”

“Get out of here kid… …”

  
  


XXXXX

Mike’s cell phone rang.

“Mike speaking…”

“Mike? This is, uh, Max, El’s best friend and roommate…”

“Max? You ok, Eleven told me what happened.”

“That’s what I’m calling about… I’m supposed to pick up El after her last class, but I don’t think I can make it, I need to pick up a different prescription for painkillers, the ones I’m on now give me a wicked headache… the timing is all wrong… do you think you could pick her up.”

“Done, Max, don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Mike. I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Mike laughed. “Ok, all the help I can get…”

XXXXX

  
  


El was staring at a pretty blonde girl who had just come out of Mike’s bedroom, wearing nothing but very short shorts and a skimpy top. She had a toothbrush in her mouth and had obviously just gotten up, but had beed there the night.

El’s heart sank.  _ This can’t be happening… this just can’t be happening. We were committing ourselves to each other not twenty minutes ago and there’s… a girl? _

Mike didn’t seem at all surprised.

_ How is he going to explain this to me? Or is he even going to try? _

“Oh, um, Eleven? This is my little sister Holly, well, um, longish story but she’s been staying with me while, um… her and my mom take a bit of a breather apart… and uh, well this is going to be awkward….”

Holly looked back and forth between Mike and El. She looked a little sheepish.

“I’m really cramping your lifestyle aren’t I.”

Mike turned to El, “She’s referring to all the women I bring home. It’s ok, Holly. I won’t be home tonight… um… ”

“We have plans,” El said, rescuing him, winked at Holly but Mike didn’t catch it.

The relief that El felt was palpable.  _ I hope I’m not this jealous with every girl Mike knows. He’ll get tired of that… _

She looked around the living room area, and frowned, “For some reason I thought you’d have a lot of guitars around or something.”

“I like playing guitar… and keyboards I guess, but I spend most of my time playing one of my recorders, or flute.”

“You can play a flute?”

Mike walked over to table, and opened a box. He pulled out a very shiny silver flute and started tp play.

El closed her eyes and smiled. I love that song… they only plat it around Christmas time though.”

Mike shrugged, “I know. I don’t know why they also play “What Child Is This” which somehow is a magically transformed “Greensleeves” with new lyrics. What I just played was  Pachelbel's Canon. You’ve probably heard the rock version which everyone is doing now.”

“It’s beautiful… just like you.” El said.  _ I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he plays something other than what you’d think a guy who looks like him plays. Bias on my part. Hmm. It means his lips are supple. Not the worst thing. _

“I’m going to go change, then we’ll had back to your place if you want to change. Remember, slightly upscale.” He smiled.

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“How are you doing, Max?’

“These painkillers are great… Everybody should be on them.” Max had a little bit of a glaze to her smile.”

“I think that’s the problem the Max.”

“You could be right. Hurts like hell when the others didn’t work, and the headache on top of that… I could barely think.”

“I’m sorry about my ex-friend. He’s been ex for a long long time.”

“It’s not your fault… I’m just happy that you and El are… together?”

Mike nodded.

“She’s a really nice girl Mike… sure she has body that most girls our age dream about… but you already know she’s smart. She really is the perfect girl for someone who loves her.”

Mike pressed his lips together. “Like most girls she takes for ever to get ready. She said something about wearing her “3 S” dress?”

Max’s eyes went wide. “She is?” Then Max looked mischievous.

No sooner had Max said that when El came into the room.

His first words were. “Oh fuck.” But then he clamped his hand over his mouth.

“That means you like it.” Eleven turned around.

“Yeah… and I don’t mean to be rude, but you have really nice tits, and nice bum.”

El laughed. “She should,” Max said, “you see that dress she’s wearing?”

El said, “3 S’s. Sexy, Slink, and Slutty.”

Mike frowned, “It’s not really slutty, Eleven.” Mike said, “I mean, it’s tight, but that’s just sexy.”

“Mike.” Max said. “You see that dress.”

“Uh, yeah Max, hard not to notice.”

“That’s  _ all _ she’s wearing.”

He looked at El. 

El nodded.

“Uh… um… uh… how do you keep your… um… ah… nipples from, uh… you know”

“Round bandaids. They are a large busted girls best friend.”

Mike turned red and said… “I know nothing about girls.”

Both Max and El laughed.

“You aren’t seriously wearing nothing else?”

“Mike,” El used a throaty voice, “I am seriously wearing nothing else.”

  
  


XXXXX

  
  


“You ok Mike?”

_ He looks lost… like he doesn’t know what to do. _

“Why a girl even gives me a second look is totally lost on me. Offers I had… it was just sex. You have probably had to deal with that for a long time.”

El nodded.

“But you are every guy’s dream.”

“I only want to be your dream… and speaking of...”

He looked at her… the longing was in his eyes.

“When I perform fellatio on you, do you want me on my knees, with maybe my panties down around my ankles, or completely naked? Or just an unbuttoned white shirt in front of a mirror… the choice really, is yours.

“Uh… you kind of had me at  _ fellatio.” _

“You know what it means right?” El said.

“Well not in linguistics terms.”

“It’s Latin past participle of ‘to suck’ ”

“Ok… but you really want to play this game Eleven?”

“I really want to play this game, MIke… give it your best shot.”

“Well, I hope my beginner beard isn’t too scratch between your thighs, but… when I’m exploring the inner most secrets of your flesh… and finally bring you to screaming ecstasy… do you want me to keep going? Or will that be too much stimulation?”

“Oh fuck… to quote someone… I’m wet and throbbing.”

“Shit,” Mike said. “Those dudes over there look serious and they are coming our way.”


	6. G.I.B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, totally borked the numbering.
> 
> chapters 4, 5, and 6 are in their proper order now and complete.
> 
> I hope i brought the story back from the brink. last chapter was fun to write.

“Mike goons in black are going to look down my top.” El said.

Mike quickly took off his blazer and handed it to her.

She managed to do up all the buttons before they got to their table.

“Miss Ives. We’d like a word.”

“No thanks.” She said brightly. 

“I’m afraid we must insist.”

“Insist all you want. It’s still, no thanks. I’ll be less polite when you ask me again.”

“We need to talk to you privately.”

“Hmm. Interesting, I don’t need to talk to  _ you _ privately. Fuck off.”

The two men in black looked at each other.

“We can get an arrest warrant.”

El laughed. “If you could have gotten an arrest warrant you’d be handing it to me by now. My guess is you got a… hmm, what would he say… oh! I know. Go fuck yourself.”

The two guys looked at each other again.

“If the president asked you would you both talk with us?”

“The president of what? Your Sunglasses-of-the-Month Club. Or President Melvald?”

One of the goons spoke into his wrist and seconds later Mike’s cell phone rang.

“Mike speaking.”

_ “Mike! it’s Don Melvald. Any way I can convince you two to talk to me in the car? Ignore the secret service guys. They have no sense of humour, tact, or general friendliness. They are a necessary evil.” _

“Of course sir. We’ll be right out.”

“You aren’t telling me that was Don are you?”

“Yeah… his voice has a very particular cadence, both you and I could pick him out of a sea of voices. Which intrigues me now that I’ve said that.”

“I don’t want to demean your talents Mike,” El said as they left the restaurant, “I can see why they might want to talk to me, but a music teacher?”

Mike half smiled. He had a pretty good idea why they wanted to talk to him.

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  


El sat beside Mike and across from President Melvald in the heavily fortified limousine.

He leaned over and passed Mike a sheet of paper.

El looked down at it, expecting it to be sheet music or something. Instead she saw a page of formulas, circles, and graphs.

“This looks like a page from my Master’s thesis.”

“It does… but it’s not.” Don smiled.

“It looks like math.” El said. 

“Um, I have a masters in algebra. I’m not Charles Proteus Steinmetz at all, but I can hold my own. It was kind of a fringe thesis. You usually defend a thesis for four or five hours, but i was close to nine hours or something.”

“Can I ask why you didn’t tell me?” El said, looking a little disappointed.

“I thought I was already coming off as a know-it-all. I didn’t want you rolling your eyes at me… of course that was…”

“...before I came across as a know-it-all in languages.” El smiled. 

_ I really thought I might be smarter than Mike. It’s starting to look like he’s smart enough that the president needs his help. Sheesh. _

“It’s not from my thesis?”

“No, and so you don’t keep El in the dark. Explain it again to both of us. “

“El, I’m going to grab a pencil from inside my jacket.” He reached beneath it, brushing the swell of her breast lightly, and grabbed it from the inside pocket.

“So. I read a lot of science-fiction as a kid, and one of the common themes with books about alien contact was how would we communicate with them.”

El could already feel a chill up her spine, and realized why she might be sitting here now.

“We can’t just send them an alphabet, as a linguist you know that wouldn’t make any sense. But you still need a common ground for communication. Sound is one thing, but it would have to be a sound between 20 Hertz and 20 KiloHertz. Most human adults are between fifteen and seventeen K. We are unlikely to get anything meaningful from sound. Maybe the patterns of sound like we get with whales or dolphins, but that would be about it.”

“Ok, so what about pictures, or images. Again, how would we receive them, at regular standard def TV frequencies? Or high def? Slow scan TV? Or what if they were several Angstrom’s out of our detection equipment.”

“The obvious answer is to send them on every frequency, wavelength, insert alien tech here. But what do you send? Language isn’t universal but math is.”

“This page has Cartesian coordinates at the top and bottom, and x squared plus y squared is a circle. So this page is a formula for expanding and contracting circles.

“There’s a formula for a circle?” El said.

“Yes, “ Mike drew a squiggly line on the sheet. “Any thing you can draw will have a formula. The more complex the figure, the more complex the formula. But that’s not it. Take a look at this.”

He drew a quick x,y graph, and plotted some points on it. And then he connected the dots. It looked mostly like an acute trapezoid.

“That’s your name. Eleven.”

“How do you get Eleven out of that shape.” El asked. Even the president looked interested.

On the X line, we put the letters of the alphabet. On the Y graph, put twenty six graduations. At the first graduation, put a dot where it and the E intersect, second graduation, where the second and the L intersect. Once done, connect the dots. 

“So you could send shapes as words?” The President said?

“Exactly, sir.”

“Ok, so why all the circles?

“If an alien sent this to me, I’d say in stead of trying to send me the formula for a just a sphere, for some they were drawing it out slice by slice. Let me guess, this was the third one you were sent?”

Don had a big grin on his face. “I knew you were the right choice.”

El looked with a half smile between the President and her boyfriend. She shook her head. “I don’t get it.”

“They send ‘pictures’,” Mike airquoted, “Of three spheres. We are the third planet from the sun. The alphabet in this case is Cartesian coordinates, and that really opens up a lot of possibilities. You have their exact location don’t your Mr. President.”

“I can’t tell you that without you two getting your official top secret and Q Clearances. All I can say is that your lives are about to change.”

El looked down, “We were kind of hoping to get married tomorrow, sir.”

“Done, I’ll marry you.”

“Um, sir, the president can’t marry anyone.” Mike said.

“He can if he’s also a minister. If I have to I’ll make an executive order or some bullshit. I want you two on my team, I’ll pretty much do what it takes.”

“That’s all math sir… what about me?”

“You are going to learn their language. I hope their first communication isn’t a cookbook.

“Sir?” El said.

“Old Twilight Zone episode. Oh, one other thing… You can’t wear that dress in the Whitehouse, ninety percent of the males will be distinctly uncomfortable and have to excuse themselves.”

El blushed.

“If the aliens are all women, you two will be in trouble.”

Mike shrugged. “I’ll give it a shot trying to service them all.”

El swatted his arm and laughed.

“We serve at the pleasure of the president, Sir.”

“Let’s go talk to our new neighbours.”


End file.
